Bittersweet. That's the only word I can come up with to describe my feelings. You see, our girls are gone right now, off playing and being spoiled by "Grammy". Len and I are at home with just the baby, and I've been surprised at the feelings this has brought about. I've been away from my girls before, but not very much. Since we don't have extended family that live close to us, the girls almost never leave us. Last summer I left Len and the girls for 5 days while I helped my sister with wedding planning, but the girls were still here at home. I was the one who left. It's very weird being in this house without them. I keep walking by their room that is organized and clean (1st day project) and very quiet. It's kind of eerie and depressing. I've actually wanted to cry once or twice because I do miss them. That's the bitter side of my feelings.
Then there's the sweet side. Len and I are going out for a date and to the movies! We've made a list of projects to get done while the girls are gone, like cleaning out closets, steam cleaning carpets, making fig jelly, etc! It's been great! We can have adult conversations with almost no interruptions! And even though we do have one kid still with us, she's easy! "N" takes at least 3 naps a day, she's very happy once she's eaten, and she is totally content and entertained by the ceiling fan! We have been giving her lots of extra attention right now, which has been very fun for us!
So, I just keep going back and forth between these two emotions of bitter and sweet. One moment its one side, the next moment its the other. Kind of like a see-saw effect.
PAUSE
Well, I just got off the phone with the girls and they are having a great time. They've gone to the movies, they were on their way to go ride a horse, and tomorrow they're doing sidewalk paint! I am so happy for them, yet I still miss not getting to do those things with them and see the bright smiles on their faces. Still see-sawing!
Man, I've got to toughen up a bit. What am I going to do when I send them off to college?
4 comments:
I completely understand what you mean. I feel like I have lost an arm or leg, or both, when my kids aren't with me. Even if it is just running to the grocery store by myself. I hope you guys enjoy the time you get to yourselves though.
What will you do? Cry like your mother does!
That's pretty sweet. I'm not sure if I will feel that way when I get to leave my child with the grandparents. I think I would dance a little jig!
thank God college isn't for at least 17 more years in our house! love keeping up with you here. hope all is going well. love you guys!
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